Eating My Emotions

Yesterday was not a good day....

Yesterday my ghosts got the best of me....

Yesterday I ate my emotions....

Yesterday, as I ate my emotions...I knew I was doing it....but could not stop it...

Yesterday I was very, very sad...

Today...is a new day...

Today I will make better choices...

Today I will not berate myself for yesterday...

Today I remember why I am trying to learn to eat in my 40's...

Today I feel like crap because of my food choices...

Today, I have a food hangover...

TTFN...must tend the dragons...

Fear

How do you address the fear in your world? I mean fear that seems unreasonable to others because they don't understand.  Like the fear that people watching you are just waiting for you to fail and gain all the weight back. Like your significant other, that they won't like the person you really are, the one under the fat that has been waiting to get out. Like your "friends" that already seem to not be happy with you or for you. Like the people who when they find out your are loosing weight ask you if you have thought about gastric-bypass.

I have a dear friend and she and her husband have been working toward having weight loss surgery...they are discovering that they really don't need the surgery...they are loosing it on their own right now...both have done an incredible job...who knew you had to loose 5% of your weight to have the surgery...anyway...I love talking to her about their loss of weight because they are doing the same thing I am, portions and hopefully soon I will add exercise to the program.

Exercise...hmmmm...there is a huge fear there...how stupid will I look? How many people will make fun of me?  Will I get harassed? Will I get teased? Should I join a gym? Should I just start to walk? What if I want to exercise but don't want to be watched? Then, lets talk about Barbie in the spandex that weighs about as much as my leg...she intimidates me...A LOT...

Oh! Sagging skin!  Is there going to be sagging skin? If so, is the weight loss worth it?

Yes, I have fear. I have a lot of fear. Most of it unreal and unreasonable. Am I dealing with it?  I'm here writing about it...so yes, I am trying to deal with it...one day and one less bite at a time...

TTFN...my dragons are calling...

Loneliness

First off, I've hit my first goal...I have lost 10% of my body weight and have started on my 2nd 10%...I weighed in at the drs. today at 287.5 lbs...I WAS STOKED!!!

Stats...
     Beginning Weight.....322 lbs.
     Current Weight..........287.5 lbs.

Total Loss To Date..........34.5 lbs.

Next goal........................261.0 lbs.

Onward we go...

Now, on to loneliness...has anyone out there, assuming anyone is reading, noticed that as you change your diet and start learning to take care of yourself, that people tend to give you the cold shoulder?  I have been used to my female friends doing that...but...my partner is the one doing it...and my children.

You would think that they would be happy...but they don't seem to be...they seem angry...and that hurts.

I have a friend that does Food Addicts and she said I would probably enjoy the meetings...I may go.

TTFN...